end of February...

Two magor things have happened since my last post...
1. VALENTINES DAY which was an awesome lovey day spent with my hubby...
went to the park....
lounged about the house....
played with our kids....
( the night before we stayed up TOGETHER making them heart shaped chocolate chip cookies and Valentines day cards expressing our admiration and love of each one of them)
We had a beautiful dinner out ( by oursleves)...
then went to go see the "Blind Boys of Alabama" in concert
(The tickets were my present from him and I got him those video game 'plug into the TV' systems that have old atari games on them, pacman, galactica etc..)
2. On February 22nd my twin babies turned FIVE years old. OHMYGOSH I cried my eyes out the night before their birthday, I can't believe I don't have babies anymore. I lied in my bed realizing that I don't mind getting older but watching my kids get older is really painful. A whole chapter of my life is over, and of theirs too.....
'They are too cute to grow up', my 12 year old daughter says, and I agree.
The problem is...... I would just keep having babies, I love little kids!
Then they get older and they don't cuddle with you anymore, they argue, they don't kiss you in public, it's a different relationship, and I guess I just wasn't ready to make that shift....
but alas Father time is forcing me to.
The cutest and worst thing about it is they wanted to be and look like "little men" now that they were turning five.
Next thing you know they want the keys to your car......
I'll adjust......
I suppose.

pizza making with my boy

Tonight my eldest son and I made pizza together.
He's almost 14.
It was his idea.
I LOVED hanging out with him, laughing together,
teaching him about the mysteries of good dough......

I think being a young parent ( 33) with five kids I automatically put myself in the "cool" category. I'm still cool,.... aren't I? Well maybe I'm not, BUT I am both a mom and a friend to my kids. (mom first) And my kids are pretty good about wanting to include me in what they do, or ask my advice, or reveal/confess their latest thoughts or crushes, so that makes me feel/think I'm still a bit 'cool'.
As I was pressing out the dough tonight listening to my son tell me about his cooking class at school, I suddenly got frightened that these might be the last days of this kind of rapport with him, that soon he will be shutting me out, sneaking around, and being silent about his life...... I started to mourn what I anticipated was the very near future. I love my boy, not only that but I LIKE him too. He's a good kid, with a warm heart, cool hair, great smile and awesome sense of humour.... and (surprisingly) both great athletic abilility AND fashion sense. ( a ladies man in the making I'm sure :o) I don't want to "lose" him to the indifference/aloofness of teenagehood. I started to wonder if that has to happen. What can I do to avoid it?

Well as we were sprinkling on the cheese together I said thanks for making dinner with me, and bringing home the recipe from school. He gave me this HUGE smile and said, " you're welcome for hanging out with you Mom."
cheeky monkey!
But it was nice to know that he knew it was important to me to hang out with him. That he's important to me.
I said a little prayer after, and asked God to give me the wisdon to not drive him away, to love him and be the mother and friend that he needs. To be honest and approachable always.